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May 18, 2013
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406 notes
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker: Full Report

Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker: Full Report

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May 17, 2013
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56 notes
Obama’s Second Term Mired In Scandal: Full Report

Obama’s Second Term Mired In Scandal: Full Report

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May 17, 2013
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90 notes
Obama Fondly Recalls Frustration Of First Term: Full Report

Obama Fondly Recalls Frustration Of First Term: Full Report

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May 17, 2013
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238 notes
Nation Supposes It’s Outraged By White House Scandals: Full Report

Nation Supposes It’s Outraged By White House Scandals: Full Report

Video
May 17, 2013
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48 notes

Onion Review: ‘Angelina Jolie Is A Brave, Heroic Woman,’ Says Blogger Who Once Said She Looks Like An Alien

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May 17, 2013
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110 notes
Cleveland Browns Gearing Up To Punt Ball Down Opponents’ Throats: Full Report

Cleveland Browns Gearing Up To Punt Ball Down Opponents’ Throats: Full Report

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May 17, 2013
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113 notes
Call From Daycare Can’t Be Good: Full Report

Call From Daycare Can’t Be Good: Full Report

Video
May 17, 2013
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33 notes

Report: Sponsored Content Pretty Fucking Awesome

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May 17, 2013
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16 notes
Onion Sports examines some of the worst chokes in the history of athletic competition: Full Report

Onion Sports examines some of the worst chokes in the history of athletic competition: Full Report

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May 17, 2013
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70 notes
Joint Chiefs Chairman Pretty Sure He Could Pull Off Junta If He Really Wanted To: Full Report

Joint Chiefs Chairman Pretty Sure He Could Pull Off Junta If He Really Wanted To: Full Report